Friday, January 21, 2011

the future:

Thursday, January 20, 2011

just another day:

skipping work may actually have been a good idea.
a good opportunity to take a breather and try to evaluate.
and hanging out with mugs was really good.
and he definitely improved my mood.
and the show was great.
and i felt it.
and got goosebumps.
and had moments where i wasn't thinking anything.
just feeling.

and then,

somehow, no matter the total, i am always the odd number.
and i'm so tired of it.

one is the best odd number.
and more and more it seems like that's what i'm supposed to be.
oh, woe is me.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

"civil with the self-hate just won't do."

Monday, January 17, 2011

apt set teaser - rumpelstiltskin version:

that perpetual thirdie, a hair's breadth from thirty
who thinks he can save himself by being wordy
it's absurd he crams it all into fables
lesson number one: rap won't save you
he never bought into middle class suburban angst
til all the sudden realized it was his everyday
once upon a time in the days of old
he had a roaring fire, not it's straight up cold
we could weave each other into golden thread
but we've chosen this instead

Friday, January 14, 2011

this is a really good article i read while at work.

Social animal: How the new sciences of human nature can help make sense of life

it's not as science-y as it sounds from the title. hit me in just the right spot today.

Monday, January 10, 2011

a (very) short story:

he said, "over and over again, i am impressed by your ability to find new ways to make me feel like a fool."
"it's easy to fool a blind man," she replied. "why don't you write a post about it?"
so he did.
and nothing changed.

i feel like there are so many things to say.
and no place to say them.
this post is pointless.

second verse.

nine inch nails - where is everybody?

two things:

- too many movies that make me feel lonely and hollow

- there is no safe haven

Sunday, January 09, 2011

it's such a difficult directive to follow:

atmosphere - lovelife

as the blade slowly entered all he could think of was escape.
until a flash went off in his brain.
and changed everything.

he grabbed the handle and plunged the blade as deep and as fast as he could.
to the hilt. beyond the hilt.
til his fingers reached the crimson.

he picked up as many blades and he could.
and dove them into his flesh.
farther with every one.
twisting and turning.
just to see what would happen.

"if i die, at least it will be over.
if i live, at least it will be over."

Saturday, January 08, 2011

everybody know but no one wants to say it out loud.
why are we afraid of the demon's name?

Thursday, January 06, 2011

fake swagger only lasts so long.
them something small
and foolish
comes along
and knocks all the phony scenery down.

this is where you really are.


this is why relying only on singles compilations just isn't enough. you (meaning me) end up missing all kinds of really good stuff. there's gonna need to be many more emusic purchases.

prince - let's pretend we're married (****beware, it gets extra naughty at the end)

prince - all the critics love u in new york

plus the one in the previous post. i wish i could scream/shriek like that.

a (very) short story (as adapted from a prince song):

"heh, you think you're special?" he said.
she nodded silenty
"so do i... why in God's name do you wanna make me cry? why?
must be something in the water you drink."

prince - something in the water

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

new wounds distract from old wounds distract from new wounds distract from old wounds distract from new wounds distract from old wounds distract from...

the mobius strip of the perpetually wounded.

Monday, January 03, 2011

this is one of my favorite sad beautiful songs.

the smiths - asleep

a (very) short story:

she said more than she could possibly know.
a summary of so much of his life in two small words.
"oh, adam."
and all he could do was repeat it.

i am idiot.
i continue to allow myself to get into the exact same situations over and over and over again.
deluding myself into thinking that perhaps this time
it will go differently
or i will react differently
or it won't mean anything

i never learn.
i just get older.
and then i'll die.

put it on the tombstone.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

another example of how i make things overly confusing and complicated by compartmentalizing things that really don't need to be (a photo essay):

Saturday, January 01, 2011

i'd say that is a pretty great way to start.

"it's been a long week, it's been a long year / it's been a long twenty-something but i'm still here"