So a while ago Atmosphere announced their next tour. It seems to be a co-headlining tour with Slightly Stoopid. I had no idea who or what that is, so I've been slightly apathetic about it. As well as moderately curious who this could be. I assumed it was some newly popular rapper/rap group that I hadn't heard of yet cause I'm old(ish) and kinda don't care about trendy, social media broken rap (which for whatever reason I assumed it was, maybe the name). I figured eventually the information would be made plain to me.

Tonight, while doing my usual stalling going to bed I decided to finally check it out. Turns out they're basically a Sublime type band. Zzzzzzz. So I'm thinking I probably won't go when they come through town.

Which would make it the third time in a row (at least) that I've missed Atmosphere. There was a time when this would have been unthinkable.

This realization that it has been so long since I've seen them led to a lightning fast recollection, which is also the impetus of this post.

I immediately had a rush of specific memories from the last show I went to. The feelings I had during their set. The places I stood. The temperature of the room.

And who I went with.

And how that made me feel the whole night.

And now I'm wondering if somehow, subconsciously, that is why I haven't seen them since. It just can't be matched. Or I don't want it to be matched. Or I don't want to go alone.

I have had legitimate reasons not to attend every time since then. But perhaps that's just the smoke and mirrors I've made to shield myself from the possible poking of a flesh wound.

Probably I'm just over analyzing right now.

But it's an interesting thought either way.



Unrelated other thing from tonight:

I watched the new Macklemore video and thought, "Man, I rap so much better than him." That ushered in plenty of its own conflicting emotions.

Sometimes you just wanna be picked up by the zeitgeist. Even if its just locally. And for a short time. Sometimes other people's opinions matter more than they should. Sometimes being acknowledged feels important.

Sometimes you realize that one year ago today you were playing a fun show for a room full of strangers at the Bowery Ballroom and they liked you and a former writer for Spin loved your set and you realize that maybe that's as good as it will ever get and that at one time you were more than okay with that but tonight it makes you kind of sad because where do you go now?

posted by adam @ 11:50 PM