(almost) never ever ever ever express your deeply felt, long held feelings to someone in a pseudo-poetic or what you think is eloquent and serious fashion in an email/letter/message. at best it will back fire on you and not work. at worst it will be quoted, read, disseminated and heartily mocked.
but i guess it won't matter that much because you won't know.
on a side note, thank you to the weird strangers that send people i know such messages. you have given me many wonderful moments of entertainment.
- if the promise of breakfast with copious amounts of bacon is made, i can wake up early - very easily - life is like a taco with cockroaches in it - analogies always sound way more foolish from the pulpit than they do in your head - and that probably already sounded quite foolish in her head - bow ties are stubborn things - but not as stubborn as me - falling asleep while watching a bears game is just as enjoyable now as it used to be as a teenager - so is watching them win
- swedish meatballs - 2 chairs for 10 bucks - gordon hochhalter historical tour of salt lake city - super nice - that story about colonel sanders will never get old to me - quick visit with bearded andrew - i'm too cheap to buy the stuff i like - but i bet i would look good - if i ever stopped caring about paying rent - these boots are not near as warm as i thought they would be - just like last winter, i will most likely spend most of this winter thinking about buying some long underwear or something like that - and then not getting any - the apple store is full of people playing with things that they have no intention of buying - it's kind of like this age's sharper image in that sense - forever 21 can always be counted on for clothes i like that i'm not too cheap to get - well, like two or three things - but screw them for having a blazer that is nearly the same as the one i bought a month ago but made of a better material and a slightly better design - now i'll probably end up buying that one too - cause i can't face not having the better one - cashiers never seem to be as friendly to me as they do to other customers - maybe i just give off an anti-social vibe - the lights at temple square are beautiful and cool - but at the same time they're just a bunch of lights - i may have found the architecture more interesting - maybe i'm a little broken inside - maybe the cashiers can tell that i am the type of person who is not properly awed by lights - and, therefore, they do not waste their fake cheeriness on me - or maybe i'm just more interested in the architecture stuff cause it made me want to draw - and gave me some new ideas - but, really, it was quite nice - i just think too much - and i kind of wished there were other people there - who were not there - and are not likely to be there, with me, any time soon - part of my thinking too much - blue iguana lies about their wait time when you call them - or maybe it just really picked up in the six minutes between when i called and when we entered the building - and they put too much sauce on the chimichanga i got - but it was still pretty good - i'm not good on the phone - with anyone - but it seems especially not with my family - on skype, however, i act a fool - and it seems to work okay - with the right audience - i got two generations of hochhalter women to make the 'you-are-being-ridiculous-and-not-that-funny-but-kind-of-funny-but-mostly-weird' face at me - which is part of why i'm awesome - no one wants to be the one to end a rambling, slowing conversation - three songs on rock band will only wet the appetite - and, therefore, you should simply go home - lest you be left disappointed with having to leave after only three songs - you can learn how to do anything on youtube - you just have to keep watching videos until one of them makes sense - cool people spend their saturday nights alone in their room learning to tie bow ties - and writing on their blog
we just don't have time for passion anymore / it's all metal poses, plastic petal roses:
for some reason my posts feel off lately. ah well. here comes another one.
my parents have been in town since tuesday night. it's been very nice to spend time with them. especially since i didn't get to go home over the summer. i have been hanging out with them and my sister, heather, and her husband, jesse, every night. and all day thursday. i'm glad i have family that i enjoy being with. apparently not everyone is so lucky.
the only problem is that almost every time i get home, i end up sitting alone in my room feeling melancholy. i'm not sure why. it happens after i hang out with my friends too. somehow it always creeps in.
i am very much looking forward to sims new album. the new songs he did at the doomtree show sounded good. and i've been listening to lights out paris a lot. somehow it perfectly matches my mood of late. here's a bunch of tracks from it that you can scroll past (or listen to).
sims - tape deck
sims - so far so good
sims - so it goes
"... and i just want her to lie with me tonight / lie to me tonight, say it's gonna be alright / (it's not gonna be alright)"
i got a new song idea earlier today. while walking to work. it'll be called 'dear everyone'. or something like that. and if you read this blog regularly then you know this may be the last you hear of it. but, hopefully, i can actually finish this one.
that's probably enough unfocused rambling.
i'm gonna go watch a bit of fry and laurie on netflix. then hopefully sleep.
and if i dream, i want them to be weird dreams of adventures and strangeness. or even horrifying dreams of death and mayhem. just so long as they aren't the dreams of unattainable regular life i've been having. it's the normal dreams that remind me of what i don't have, of the things that are just past my reach, that are the most chilling.
concepts, concepts, can't nobody process/ i'ma dumb it down, rock it like another monster/ guess they just do not understand, it's not that complex/ guess they just do not understand, it's not that complex/ concepts, concepts, can't nobody process/ i'ma dumb it down, rock it like another monster/ guess they just do not understand, it's not that complex/ guess they just do not understand/
so, it's at least a week late, but i finally forced myself to do it.
he's not quite as quiet as you think a life's worth of bile built up behind the teeth pushing hard, finding cracks, it wants release part the stained ivories and let it be free too many z's, so numb from the humdrum the run of dumb sums, repeats of junked suns can't seem to do none but bite his thumb at the on your mark, get set, when you hear the gun run every day's a new blank page for the eulogy with bricks stacked foolishly, haphazard as usual, see he pays the usury charged to those with fool's degree knows the get-by set life's never been duty free he can't ignore his constant throat tics when he finally exhales, finds his voice calls out this how can i hum some monotone bliss when i know the results are all false or fixed?
this is pretty much not anywhere near where i expected to go with it. but i guess that's how it goes. i probably won't use it for what i was planning to use it for now, unless i rework it. a lot. but it's alright.
feel free to leave more topic/first line suggestions for future installments in the comments. i think the next one will be just straight up brag rap stuff. for a song someone wants me on. and i won't do it til after the christmas song stuff is done. so it may be a few weeks.
thoughts from day one of a beard-free (for now) life:
- my face still looks chubby to me, and most likely will forever - i really, really want to cut my hair shorter - partly because, after changing how my face looks, the one thing that my hair does that i really don't like is much, much more noticeable to me now - it takes people longer than you might think it would to notice that you've cut off your beard - it begins with them having a general feeling of you looking weird - then they finally pinpoint it - i developed a lot of nervous ticks that involved pulling on and/or petting my beard/mustache/facial hair. - i wonder how long it will be before i stop trying to do those same ticks without any facial hair - i probably look like i'm about 19 - or, perhaps, just like i did back in the deadlocked days - when i also looked like i was 19 - i get far more self conscious about this change in face than i ever do about haircuts or bad hair days or bad clothes days or anything else - i realize that having an entire post about not having a beard anymore is vain - but so is blogging in general - and 95% of my blog, specifically - at least it's not emotionally mopey, right? - there will be plenty of time for that later - when i start posting lyrics - this has gotten off focus - i swear when i was thinking of ideas for this earlier it was much better - yeah, i plan out posts sometimes - you'd never guess from the content - i just tried to grab my beard - it is gone
i have not seen a single living person all day today. except for the pizza delivery guy. the other down-side of feeling sick, i suppose.
this accidental solitude, along with other things, has me feeling quite a bit lonely. i used to wish for days like this. i used to thrive on being alone. sometimes i wish i was still like that. or could at least revert to that for a day or two. no such luck.
i don't think i'm gonna finish my weekly writing assignment. not a big surprise i suppose. i won't bother listing excuses.
and, finally, and on a much more positive note, here's some tweets from the manly pie shake tour which i was able to go on with chance lewis and shawty and the beast. it involved two stops. one at sammy's in rexburg, which was awesome, and one at the man expo in sandy, which was lame. it was a lot of fun.
• Over the border into Idaho. On tour! #ManlyPieShakeTour
• Impromptu rock face climbing. Tour hijinks! #ManlyPieShakeTour
• "I was born for this game." "We're tour men now." #tourtalk #ManlyPieShakeTour
• @OhBeCory, "Your hand tastes salty and gross." #tourtalk #ManlyPieShakeTour
• chanceclift: Hey, we're just happy to be here, rexburg. #manlypieshaketour http://yfrog.com/05cjxgj
• If it says it at the merch table, it's got to be true. #ManlyPieShakeTour http://twitpic.com/36ah6a
• OhBeCory: it's starting to become a dance party.. Nothing better that "I believe I can fly" #ManlyPieShakeTour
• chanceclift: Adam & @OhBeCory with their per diem. #manlypieshaketour http://yfrog.com/3v3c3xj
• Tour perk: 10 Sammy's dollar per diem. #ManlyPieShakeTour
• Tour merch sales have already outpaced hometown merch sales. Tour! #ManlyPieShakeTour
• thewestinn01: http://twitpic.com/36bosv @sammysrexburg #manlypieshaketour (*note* this is the one i am most proud of because it's someone we don't know who actually used the ridiculous tour name hashtag that i made up. so awesome.)
• OhBeCory: Cantstopwontstop just killed it with an impromtu "freestyle" #ManlyPieShakeTour
• chanceclift: Post-show dance party at sammys. The crowd just exploded over at the sound of semi-charmed life. #manlypieshaketour
• chanceclift: Adam and I are spotting Provo doppelgängers in provos doppelgänger city. #manlypieshaketour
• OhBeCory: I'm not going shave this entire tour!! #ManlyPieShakeTour
• "I went to a coffee place this morning that only serves hot chocolate." #100blockrexburg #tourtalk #ManlyPieShakeTour
• @OhBeCory "We should take a train somewhere sometime." #tourtalk #ManlyPieShakeTour
• iamchancelewis: It felt so good to do our "tour homecoming" show earlier at Muse Music Cafe. Thanks to The Lunatic for opening. #ManlyPieShakeTour
so, i was just gonna post a selection, but i kind of posted almost all of them. sorry. they're probably not as funny to others as they are to those of use who were on the "tour".
things to look forward to over the next month or so:
• "apt is the new nervous" • "christmas on 100 block" • hanging with my parents for thanksgiving • working on postcards (i really need to buy supplies) • taking what's mine
this is the post where i stop procrastinating and very ungracefully announce the start of two new projects that i keep stalling on.
the first one is the postcard initiative. basically, i will be hand drawing/painting/whatever one of a kind postcards and mailing them to people. with cheesy handwritten messages on the back. just like, you know, a postcard. so, if you want one sent to you, all you have to do is get me your address. you can email me or send me a facebook message or post a comment here or hand it to me on a piece of paper or send me a text or vocally tell it to me and make sure that i write it down, whatever method you prefer. i will be sending something to everyone that gives me an address (barring some sort of very unlikely and unexpected event like me getting hundreds of addresses), and probably even some who don't. you don't even have to write me back after you get your postcard. though it might be nice to get something besides coupons and credit card offers in the mail.
the second 'project' is as follows. i don't write enough. i need to write more. this project is being undertaken in hopes that it might make me force myself to write. every week i will be posting at least one new verse here on the blog. either just in written lyrics form or in super low quality recorded form. but i will need your help. it will be your task to help me think of topics. you can post either an opening line/phrase or a rather specific topic that you want to hear a verse about. just post a comment of whatever it is. then i will select one and get to writing. for this first week i already have an opening phrase. it comes from my friend kaneischa's blog. in her list of links to other people's blogs and sites and whatnot there is a link for this here blog. and when you mouse over it, it says 'not as quiet as you think.' so that's what i'm gonna go off of.
should be interesting to see if either of these work. especially seeing as they semi-heavily depend on the participation of a blog audience that i'm not completely sure i even have.
